I call for proposals for the next Health IT conference. HIMSS next year? I am looking for the buzzwords disruption, artificial intelligence, accountable care and mental health. I am looking for women in tech. Also, suicide survivor support and how to attract top talent to tech.
Intelligence: I would ask Frank Abignale to meet to run a new game. I don’t care about how often identity theft occurs I want to know when you are going to break into the system and take it back. You can find me. I’m confident. I won’t fly you to my conference and buy dinner. We will need a partner and some shiny speakers.
Privacy: Topics: How many of the breaches happen when the marketing arm of a large company is leasing patient data? How many lists of qualified leads are we comfortable with? We are looking for data geeks. I would like Joyce from the HIMSS press team to help vet this one.
Artificial Intelligence: I need some artificial intelligence guys. No one knows what you need to do but I bet you can figure it out and I need lots of unattractive infographics with connected dots. Let us know what a Bayesian net is. Can you guys please be proficient in Python? My favorite AI guys also know Python.
Hackathon: Anonymous want to help with this one? You guys can help us hack healthcare. Teach everyone what disruptive means. Also we need some people that actively develop ransomware.
Women in Tech: I would like to invite my old co-worker Tyra to come back to healthcare even though it’s exhausting. I want unapologetic feminists and men who aren’t scared by people who complain the wrong way. Is Beyonce interested in Healthcare Tech? She would be ideal for this category.
Rule: Men you are invited to this because you are normal people. We will not clap for you or give you novelty shirts. Your application must include two specific examples of you helping a woman in your organization.
Venture: Hey venture crew! Can you get the old Frat boys from San Fran together to think of a way to protect patients in extreme poverty and make money? I need your douchiest show pony. Maybe one or two sharks. Bring a billion vaporware friends that are going to make money anyway we will have a python coder venter capital speed dating business round.
Rule: Nothing illegal. No insider trading. We actually need some serial entrepreneurs and marketing guys as well but we didn’t want to publish that as a category or the site would crash from proposals.
CEOs and Founders: We also need some sponsors for food and drink and stuffed animals for everyone. Also portable chargers and swag. Coffee and Alcohol as well. Thank you I’m confident you can make it happen.
Blockchain: this is a catch all to let your marketing and sales departments come as well as other companies. This category is also for doctors, CME, Nurses, Informatics, payors, and large hospital buyers. Startup accelerators and consultants also welcome.
Does this sound familiar to those of you who attend health IT conferences?